Sunday, May 29, 2016


the whole story....

So, Kelly.  After her phone call to Doug last week, late that night, she sent us a picture of her by text.  She didn't call again and Doug didn't even respond... mostly because he's not a texter and he forgets to respond.

So, Liza and her little family arrived on Saturday evening.  We had barely sat down for dinner when Doug's phone rang.  He pulled it out of his pocket and showed me that it was Kelly.  He took her call and walked into the other room.  I finally got up and went to see what was going on, because I could literally hear her from the dining room. Drama!!  She'd locked her purse in her car with her keys in her purse and she needed help.  I'd told Doug the night before, as we were climbing into bed that she would be calling us with every little catastrophe in her life again soon.  And so it began.  "Dad, can you come and help me?"

Doug told her that Liza and Buddy were here, that we were having dinner and that he'd be there when we were finished.  (We have tried to teach her for the past ten years that her emergencies and lack of planning/organization are not our problem.)  She immediately said, "I want to see them.  Can I come?"  We said, "Of course."  We finished our dinner and he went to her place to help her with her car.

An hour later, they returned.  We'd cleaned the kitchen and were playing cards at the table.  The dogs started barking, so I went to the door, opened my arms and welcomed her home.  Everyone else followed.  There were hugs and hellos, but no mention of the fact that she has been five miles away and missed the last year and a half of our lives.  We went straight back to the table and told her how we play the game.  Like all has been fine forever.

We played and laughed and played more games and other games and just had a good time.  After games, it was Aylabelle's bedtime, so we had family prayer then sat in the den just talking.  We told her about the things she has missed this past 18 months.  We shared that Grandma had gotten married to Norm, that my mom's manfriend, Boyd, had passed away, that Grace had started dating, and that Quayd had some news.

      Kelly:  Wait!  Let me guess!  Are you going on a mission?
      Quayd:  Yep, I am!
      Kelly:  Cool.  (She kept playing.)  Wait!  LIKE SOON?
Quayd: Next month.
Kelly:  Wow!  You really ARE going on a mission!  Cool!
We all sat there.  A minute goes by.
Kelly:  WAIT!  Where to!?'

We just laughed.  Her mind is so "everywhere"! 

Later, we were visiting about Grace dating.  She asked if Grace had been kissed yet.  I had opened my iPad to show Kelly Mom and Norm's picture.  Kelly's head was still on Grace kissing a boy.  I showed the picture and she said, "He's ollllllld!", meaning that Kelly was dating the man in the pix with Grandma.  We busted out laughing.  

As we were playing Tenzi, we could tell that she was happy to be home and felt the welcoming spirit and our unconditional love for her.  She said, "I think it was meant to be.  I was supposed to lose my keys.  I had planned on being at a party tonight, but then losing my keys, I ended up here.  It was meant to be."  Liza and I visited about it afterward and we agreed, that she could feel the Spirit of love in our home and she recognized/remembered it.

On Sunday,  Quayd's ordination was scheduled.  Kelly asked if she could attend graduation.  We told her fine.  She asked if she could come over more while Liza is here.  Fine.  Then, later, the ordination was mentioned.  She immediately asked, "Can I come?"  I said, "I'm sorry, but you can not come to that."  I then had to explain that Jason (Kelly's fourth child) would be here and his parents are not ready for him to meet Kelly.  She didn't get cranky or angry.  She did try to plead her case, but I said, "No.  That's not our decision to make, it's his parents.  AND  This week is about Quayd, not you."  She was fine.

Another little "moment", was when we told her that we were having family pictures taken this week.  "Am I invited?"  Um, you're family.  If you dress appropriately, like we ask because we all have colors and assignments.  She agreed.  Then she asked, "Is Zaylee going to be in the pictures?"  No.  "Is Aylabelle going to be?"  Of course.  "Why isn't Zaylee?"  Really, Kell?  And that was the end of the discussion.  Again, she didn't argue.''

She also asked if she could have visits with Zaylee here in our home, like we had done with DCFS.  No.  ABsolutely NO.  I do not want to get in the middle of that.  Again, no argument.  Thankfully.  That was pretty much the only time that Zaylee really came up in a serious manner.  It's still very hard for Liza and Buddy to even think about.  Kelly could see that.  I mentioned to her again, "This week is about Quayd, not You, not Zaylee.  Sorry."  She was fine.

That was that.  We visited and laughed and caught up and all was fine.   She joined us for family prayer, we talked more and more until finally, I had to say, "It's almost midnight and we have a big day tomorrow.  Dad has to take you home now. She didn't want to leave. When Doug came back from taking her home and we climbed into bed, I sent her a text and said, "It was good to have you home again.  Love you."  She responded, "I found my keys in my coat.  I had looked over and over.  Weird.  Maybe I just wasn't supposed to go to that party."  I said, "You were with your family, where you belong."  She wrote back, "Love you."   She recognized the spirit in our home.  We are certain of that.

We also made it clear that we were not her taxi.  She asked if she could come over for dinner on Sunday afternoon.  We told her yes, if she could get herself here.  By Sunday, she'd found her keys and was here are 12:00 sharp, when we told her we would be home from Doug's YSA Sacrament Meeting.  She spent the afternoon and had a big date in SLC that evening.  She needed to go by 5 but ended up staying until after 6.  She did not want to leave.  It was so obvious.  She kept saying, "I really need to go.  Should I just not go?  I should go now.  I want to stay."  

We have not seen her since.  She went to Lagoon yesterday, but we have family pictures and she's sent me several texts asking if her outfits were okay.  She was happy to be included.  She said she will be at Quayd's graduation.  We'll see.  But, she's definitely keeping in touch.

  Oh.  AND... I've been asked several times how the kids reacted to all this.  They were excited to see her come home because it means she's doing well right now.  They gave her a hug when she came in the door.  They visited with us a family, but more of the time, they were off together, or on their phones, or in their rooms.  They just deal with it when she is around.  It's like, "Hi, Kelly." and then they just go on with their lives, not at all attached.  I think that they have seen enough of her cycles, that they recognize that we never know how long she will be around.  When she is, she's more interested in sharing her pictures of her shoes and hair than asking about them.  So, they roll with it.  Bless her heart.

OH!  One more thing... I took this photo of her and texted it to Denise and Carol as I crawled into bed.  I immediately got a text back from each of them... WOW!!!  And WHAT!?!?!?!?!??!?!  It made me laugh out loud.

  I say this often... trust in the Lord and trust in HIS timing.  With Kelly, that's what we have to do.  It's good to have her home...for now.  Life is good.

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