this past few days have been great and awful and hysterical and sad... I have actually laughed more in the past few days than I have in weeks.
I ordered some tube tops. Because my scar goes from two inches below my collar bone down my arm to just over two inches above my "elbow pit", as Liza calls it, I have not been able to wear a bra since my fall in December. (Actually, I just realized, as I typed that, that they must have cut my bra off when they cut my shirt off because I've been missing a bra.) Anyway, I thought that I would order a few tube tops because I am feeling good enough to get out and about for short periods of time and need something! I was hoping that the tube top would be enough. I am very anxious to return to church next Sunday.
I just texted Buddy: Did they cut my bra off when they cut off my shirt. Oh, the things that I forget about that day! Buddy responded immediately: I don't think that they cut it off, but maybe? Anything that has to do with that part, I have blocked from my memory. Poor Buddy! He is still aching from holding my arm in that one position until they could get me sedated and attempt to relocate it. Literally, over an hour a and a half, holding it, while standing there. He may never be the same. But, I will never look at him the same, either. He was truly my hero that long night! He has had to block a lot out of his memory, I'm certain!
I digress... Anyway, I ordered these tube tops. And they came just had just stepped out of the shower. I was on the phone with Denise. I told her about them and how excited I was to try them. The "free" look isn't that appealing in my old age! ha! I opened the package and put one of them on. Oh my! I order things online all the time. ALL the time! More than I buy in real stores. In all the years, I've returned one thing! I have been lucky. SO!
I step into this tube top (I have to step into everything right now.) and oh my gosh! I was laughing so hard that I snorted. It's "round" enough but the thing was about 8" long. If I pulled it up where it belong, it rolled all the way up over where it should be covering. If I pulled it down to where the bottom of a bra should be, it rolled down beneath what it should be covering. When I fixed the left side, the right slipped, When I fixed the right, the left slipped. It was lacy and thin as a napkin. That should have been my first clue... three of them folded into fourths were not as thick as one slice of bread. Oh my, it was a comedy show. Denise only heard but she laughed so hard. I was showing Carol at lunch and she rolled! I guess those will be returned. next??!!?
Also, that morning...I'm sitting in the dark. It's time for morning prayer. I am currently sleeping in the den on the recliner for my shoulder. HATE IT! The girls are getting ready for school. Grace comes upstairs and was going to walk in the laundry room to get her phone.(The girls turn their phones and electronic devices in at 9:30 each night.) The pocket door between the kitchen and den was closed so that the light and Doug's blender don't wake me up. Grace walked in, in the pitch dark, and she literally walked into the door. BAM!!! I hadn't even heard her walk through. BAM!,! Laughing so hard, I said are you OK? She said, "I am, but,my dignity is not!" Three days later, I'm still cackling! I could hardly pray because I was laughing so hard! Silly girl! She's a good sport!
Quayd also wrote me the funniest letter he has ever written on Monday. It was personal, but, it was hysterical. I have laughed all week at that.
And then there is Miss Aylabelle. We were facetiming and I showed her that my arm/shooulder is doing so well. "Watch this!", as I lifted my arm and waved a small short wave at her. She giggled, then looked at Liza and said, "I can do that." She waved her arm and looked at Liza like, "What's the big deal with THAT!?!" Liza and I both just burst out laughing. She makes us both laugh every day!
So, that's a few of my good laughs this past few days. I've needed them. I have been doing so well. I began physical therapy two weeks ago and it has been very painful, the day after. I've shed many tears. I have been trying desperately to be well enough to make the six hour trip to St. George for EdieAnn's baby blessing. Sadly, my physical therapist says that it would not be in my best interest yet to make this trip. I've pushed so hard that I've had to go back into my brace again because I've had a little set-back. I have bawled over this! I want to be there for the blessing, for Liza, to see these two sweet little granddaughters of mine.
I've done my fair share of crying this past eight weeks. Eights ago yesterday, I got my shoulder. It hurts. A lot. I've had six major surgeries in my life and never imagined this kind of pain. It just seems so senseless... one minute, I'm writing my missionary son and going down to dinner with my daughter and her sweet little family. The next, I'm in a hospital six hours from my home and away from my husband getting a new shoulder. I still can't wrap my head around that. But, we all have our challenges and this one is mine. I'll cry a bit and then I'll smile some more and be thankful for the blessings that I've been given through this challenge. Doug and the girls have been wonderful in their care. Friends and family have gone above and beyond. I have a beautiful home to recouperate in with so many comforts of life to make it more tolerable.
Mostly, I have been reminded, when I'm bawling through my physical therapy and sleepless nights, the Savior went through so much more than this. I can do this. And as always, I'm reminded of Doug's "I'm still alive" and "This too shall pass." Although, these days, he doesn't say those things. He mostly tears up and says, "I hate seeing my best friend hurt." That makes me cry. I am blessed. I hurt. A lot. But, I am blessed.