Thursday, August 17, 2017

ZJ's book - our proudest parent moment!

When ZJ was a freshman, she attended the county school and there was much bullying that was taking place.  She'd told me about it a lot.  I always wondered if it was in her head or if it was really as bad as she described.  Then, she wrote me the 27 page persuasive letter about why she wanted to move to the Logan High School.  We were living in the Logan district in our new home, so, rightfully, she should have been transferred to the Logan School, but we felt so confident that she should stay in the county school district.  We fought it hard, until her letter, and we knew that she needed to make the move.  Once she made that move to Logan, she became a new person!  So happy!  So confident in who she was.  It took almost notime to see the change in her becoming herself again!  Great choice...even if it was a little late.

Fast forward to last spring.  We've been having second thoughts about Zeej going to Logan because the county has built a brand new high school that is even closer to our home than Logan is.  We would have to have special permission for Zeej to attend the new school, but I had spoken with the person who signs the dotted line and gotten that okay.  I picked up the paper for him to sign, right outside of his office but didn't feel like it was the right time to do it, so I left with the blank paper in hand.  For the next few weeks, I've stared at the paper, and not felt like it was time yet.  Although, I knew that time was getting short, I've not been able to fill out the paper.

So.  Two weeks ago, I was invited to a little morning garden party with some 80 year old ladies in our ward and had a wonderful visit with them.  I came home and the girls were waiting for us to go shopping for some girls camp needs.  I hopped out of the car long enough to say, "Let's go" and hop back in.  There was a package waiting on my doorstep with a sticky note that said, "We came by to see you, Mrs. Corbridge, and you were gone.  We hope this will help."  I had no clue what it was.

We hopped into the car and as I backed out of the driveway, I opened the envelope and saw inside a composition notebook.  It was very tired and it was filled with lots of other papers.  I had no clue what to expect.  I opened it and read the first page.  It was a letter explaining to me that this book had been passed around Logan all summer long and was filled with letters from many friends who wanted to share how Zeej had influenced them at LHS.  As I read the first letter, my thoughts were "Oh, great.  A book of "Please let ZJ stay at LHS."  However, I was quickly and most pleasantly surprised to find that this book was filled with 84 amazing stories of how Zeej had influenced their life at LHS.  Each had a title like a chapter and each story was unique and specific.  We. Were. STUNNED.  Zeej comes home every day and tells me things about school, but she's never told us these stories.


Here are a few of the stories, in brief:

  • Three different stories from people who said that "ZJ saved my life."  They were being bullied.  ZJ stopped the bullying.  One shared that some popular kids were picking on him as they walked down the hall.  Zeej turned around when she heard this and said, "HEY!  In WHAT universe is this okay!?"  She told the populars to take a chill pill and leave this kid alone.  "They have never bullied me again since that day."  One girl shared that she was Muslim and some kids were constantly teasing her because of her hajib.  Zeej called them out on it and the girl said that they'd never said a world to her about it again.
  • One non-LDS boy shared that Zeej invited him to seminary.  He said that he HATED LDS kids and the LDS faith.  He didn't want to be rude to a pretty girl, so he went to her class with her.  And then he continued to go every day from that day.  The boy is now a baptized member of the church and just received his mission call to some foreign country!
  • There were several funny stories about how Zeej refuses to gossip and whenever she hears someone gossiping, she will say, "That's unfortunate" and walk away.  Apparently, "That's unfortunate" has become a catchphrase.
  • One shared a story about Zeej walking from one building to another after one of our huge snowstorms last winter.  A branch just dumped a ton of snow on her right as she walked under it.  It was between classes when everyone was watching.  She stood there frozen and covered in snow.  Everyone stopped to see what she would do.  She froze for a sec and then said, "That's unfortunate." and everyone burst out laughing.
  • One girl asked ZJ why she always dressed so modestly.  ZJ said, quoting her dad, "The more a girl covers up, the more beautiful she is."  This girl said that she went home and cleaned out her closet and drawers of every immodest thing she owned, took them to a consignment store and got $120 for her things "and I've never dressed immodest since."
  • One parent wrote, "As mother to mother, you should know that everyone who has written in this book, joined in a fast and prayer, that your heart would be softened about her leaving LHS."
  • The story that touched my heart the most, however, was from a girl who had attended the county school with ZJ and was actually one of the bullies who had made Zee's life a living hell. She wrote that she had stood in the bathroom and watched her best friend flush ZJ's math folder down the toilet. (Zee had never told us about this.) Then, this girl transferred to LHS the year after Zee did.  She saw ZJ, so happy and with so many friends, and was shocked.  She approached Zee to ask her why she was so happy and Zee said, "Because I'm here."  This girl apologized and told me that she was so embarrassed by her actions.  Her final words were, "And Zeej forgave me."  This was more than touching.
There were funny stories, emotional stories, serious stories.  We had no clue that Zee was such a light to so many.  Eighty-four of them.  None were even close to the same and only two were "Please Don't let ZJ go to the other school where she will be bullied again."  It was hard to even read those two.  There were parents, teachers, friends, who all had written positive experiences.  Doug said, "Six kids and this is the best report card we have ever seen."  He was so so right!  We were humbled to hear these things about our daughter.

ZJ is a light.   She is fun and joyful and hysterical to be around.  She's also feisty and stands for what she believes in to whomever she wants.  It's amazing to me, the courage she has.  We were aware of the bullying she'd experienced.  BUT.  We were not aware of how much it shaped her into not being tolerant of it with others.

Suffice it to say, Zeej will be attending LHS this next year.  We now know why we both kept having that stupor of thought whenever it was time to fill out the papers.  Zeej needs to be where she is valued and loved.  Not to say that she won't have challenges at LHS, she's human and a teenager.  But, we feel confident that it's where she belongs, even if it's not what we wanted for her.  Sometimes, we have to forego what we want for what is best.  This is one of those times.  Way to go, Zee!  We've never been more proud!

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